By the next day I was back to myself and loving it here and through that experience I realized a few things.
When we were back in Illinois for Christmas it felt weird. I felt like I was in a very familiar place but in a place of the past. I felt like I didn't belong there anymore, especially when we were in Chicago. Chicago is the best city ever and will always be my home, I could write probably 100 different posts about different thoughts about Chicago but for this purpose, Chicago was my home where I lived for over 7 years and did a lot of my "growing up" and typical things you do in your 20's. I am and think I always will be a city girl but for whatever reason I am being called to live in Colorado and cannot believe how much this state suits me and how easily I've adjusted to it. By the time we were heading back to Colorado I was so excited to be back "home."
But being far away from all you've ever known has it's hard days. And that particular week was especially hard because it was cold, snowy and gloomy; three words that do not normally describe Colorado. Jason was traveling, so I was extra lonely. I still don't have any friends here. I was really missing my mom because I was trying to do some decorating in our apartment which I cannot do on my own. My job was killing me that week. I also realized that week that I am just sick of everything being "new" for me. This job was another place where I knew no one, had no idea what I was supposed to be doing, didn't know the simplest things like where to put my lunch or what the rules were of where to even eat my lunch. All the newness of the second new job in only 5 months was just too much for me!
By the next day I realized it was all the things listed above plus many more that made me sad. I've realized that the weather here is just amazing and having the sun shining almost every day has probably made this transition for me. Literally made it for me. See that pic I posted?! It was 60 both Saturday and today with all sun. (and when it says mostly or partly cloudy that generally means just a few clouds...not what I think of when I think mostly or partly cloudy!) Love it and with the weather like that all the time it's hard to miss cold, windy, wet Illinois. (Summer...that's another story!)
I am so thankful that God has brought us to a place that is filled with such beauty and awesome weather. Jason and I have said before that He could have brought us anywhere but instead we get this amazing state where we can go hiking all summer long and skiing/boarding every weekend in the winter not to mention all the other things we've been able to do! I won't list any areas for the sake of insulting anyone but I could think of a million other less desirable places He could have brought us but He picked sunny Colorado for us!!
We live in a very rural suburb that we plan to move out of once we've saved enough to buy a house. But I do not like the area where we live. Not only is it the suburbs but it's isolated and while it's no country-living it is what I'd hope is the farthest I'll ever be from city-living. Where we currently live makes miss so much of the city, so much!!
And all of that is okay. It's okay that I really miss the city, it's okay for me to miss my mom, dad or any other family member or friend. It's okay that I was extra lonely that week and missing my husband. Its okay that I was sad in my new job of all things new. If it was easy to move to a new state I think a lot more Midwestern peeps would be doing it. But this is where God has called me and Jason and for that I am grateful. Considering I couldn't handle being only 130 miles away from home when I was in college, I think I'm doing really well. And like I said, this state (and it's weather) is exactly where I need to be right now and it's perfectly okay if I have a tough day and need to call home to talk to my mom to make things all better!
No comments:
Post a Comment