First I want to thank everyone who emailed, texted or messages me with encouraging words and advice. Breastfeeding can be so hard and it great to have friends who can help and encourage us when it's not going as well as it should. I mean really there's no pressure when breastfeeding, if you're not getting it right your baby's life only depends on it's food source!
I was in so much pain one night I was the closest I could get to wanting to give up all together, though I want to breastfeed so badly that I really wasn't considering giving up but the pain made my toes curl and I wanted to scream as loud as I could. Instead I threw my phone down on the bed (which has the app I use to record Luke's feedings) and just started balling. (Add to the pain that I'm completely sleep deprived and Lucas is crying because he's hungry and I won't let him eat because I'm in so much pain) Poor Jason felt helpless. (As if he doesn't feel helpless enough every other feeding of the day when he can't ever help feed Lucas!) so the next morning he did some research and learned that:
1.) under Obama care, my insurance should cover a lactation visit.
2.) our insurance didn't want to cover this lactation visit (and we all know how much trouble it can be to get our insurance to cover things they're supposed to cover so this will be a battle I may have to fight for a long time but the pain I was currently in didn't have much fight left in me for that day)
3.) there's a hospital somewhere down the road that offers free lactation services on Tuesday and Thursay at 1:00 for one hour.
Lastly I learned from both my mother-in-law and cousin, Karrie, that Le Leche League has monthly breast feeding support classes that may be able to help. Initially I wasn't interested as a few friends had told me about bad experiences with them and that they too would charge me a fee for their help. I googled what to expect from their meetings and it was pretty comical what I found. My findings lowered me expectations to absolutely nothing as to what I'd get out of the meeting but I'm desperate as the pain is unbearable and my kids going to starve if I don't do something! (I'm being dramatic about him starving as it obviously wouldn't come to that but I am so determined to give this my all but the pain was excrusiating.)
So out of all my options I decided to try out the le leche meeting which would be on Monday morning from 10-12:30 (I found this out on Friday. ) then I'd also attend the free lactation services at the hospital on Tuesday at 1:00 and if I still wasn't having any luck then I'd break down and pay for the lactation consultant to come to my house and spend the $128+.
I went to the Le Leche meeting at 10:00 in Littleton (the Aurora ones weren't until next month) and just getting there by 10:00 was quite the feat but we did it! The meeting was great! Everyone there was normal (unlike my google search had suggested) and I got some valuable advice! They thought it sounded like I (and Lucas) might have thrush so I made an appointment with his pediatrician for the next day.
Tuesday came, we got ourselves showered, dressed and out the door again by 10:00 and low and behold...Luke has thrush! So I made an appointment with my doctor and we both began treatment Tuesday night.
So yay, I now know what's been the issue!! And there's a plan in place to make the pain go away...but of course it's not an easy one. Lucas needs this medicine FOUR times a day for 12 days!! EVERYTHING his mouth or my nipple (tmi?) comes in contact must be sterilized after every use (goodbye pacifiers! No more pumping for me! I only have two nursing bras because I'm cheap so do the math on that one of how often they need to be washed/steralized. No more bottles for Luke for a while!) What a pain, but it's so worth it to be pain free! The biggest complaint I have is that I've been working so hard to get my milk supply up and had enough milk stored up for when I go back to work plus for me to not have to do a few feedings whether I wanted to have an extra glass of wine ;-) or go on a long date with Jason or just catch a break from one of the night feedings. Well...I had to toss all of it! From what I could find there's mixed reports on if the milk would contain the yeast and after I go through all this I'm not taking the chance for Luke or I to get it back. But ugh, what a waste!
So now that we're on day 3 of treatment I believe it's working but can't be 100% sure. I'm not in excrusiating pain anymore but I definetly don't think we're out of the woods yet. His medicine has about a 30% success rate for first time treatment. Time will tell if we're both yeast-free!
I'm so thankful that I was able to figure out what was going wrong!! Oh and I went to the free lactation services yesterday for them to check Lucas' latch...they never got around to checking the latch but I did learn that Lucas weights 11 lbs 11 oz!! So I don't really think I had to worry much about him starving! Big boy is getting plenty of milk!
Thanks again for all of your support! I hope this will help anyone else who may have issues!