Friday, February 28, 2014

Nursing Issues (resolved!?)

I posted in my Lucas Week 7 update that I was having issues with breastfeeding and that having a lactation consultant meet with me would cost $128 plus $23 each additional 15 minutes. Um no thanks!! A baby and a new house are expensive enough for the month of February! 

First I want to thank everyone who emailed, texted or messages me with encouraging words and advice. Breastfeeding can be so hard and it great to have friends who can help and encourage us when it's not going as well as it should. I mean really there's no pressure when breastfeeding, if you're not getting it right your baby's life only depends on it's food source! 

I was in so much pain one night I was the closest I could get to wanting to give up all together, though I want to breastfeed so badly that I really wasn't considering giving up but the pain made my toes curl and I wanted to scream as loud as I could. Instead I threw my phone down on the bed (which has the app I use to record Luke's feedings) and just started balling. (Add to the pain that I'm completely sleep deprived and Lucas is crying because he's hungry and I won't let him eat because I'm in so much pain)  Poor Jason felt helpless. (As if he doesn't feel helpless enough every other feeding of the day when he can't ever help feed Lucas!) so the next morning he did some research and learned that: 
1.) under Obama care, my insurance should cover a lactation visit.
2.) our insurance didn't want to cover this lactation visit (and we all know how much trouble it can be to get our insurance to cover things they're supposed to cover so this will be a battle I may have to fight for a long time but the pain I was currently in didn't have much fight left in me for that day)
3.) there's a hospital somewhere down the road that offers free lactation services on Tuesday and Thursay at 1:00 for one hour. 

Lastly I learned from both my mother-in-law and cousin, Karrie, that Le Leche League has monthly breast feeding support classes that may be able to help. Initially I wasn't interested as a few friends had told me about bad experiences with them and that they too would charge me a fee for their help. I googled what to expect from their meetings and it was pretty comical what I found. My findings lowered me expectations to absolutely nothing as to  what I'd get out of the meeting but I'm desperate as the pain is unbearable and my kids going to starve if I don't do something! (I'm being dramatic about him starving as it obviously wouldn't come to that but I am so determined to give this my all but the pain was excrusiating.) 

So out of all my options I decided to try out the le leche meeting which would be on Monday morning from 10-12:30 (I found this out on Friday. ) then I'd also attend the free lactation services at the hospital on Tuesday at 1:00 and if I still wasn't having any luck then I'd break down and pay for the lactation consultant to come to my house and spend the $128+. 

I went to the Le Leche meeting at 10:00 in Littleton (the Aurora ones weren't until next month) and just getting there by 10:00 was quite the feat but we did it! The meeting was great! Everyone there was normal (unlike my google search had suggested) and I got some valuable advice! They thought it sounded like I (and Lucas) might have thrush so I made an appointment with his pediatrician for the next day. 

Tuesday came, we got ourselves showered, dressed and out the door again by 10:00 and low and behold...Luke has thrush! So I made an appointment with my doctor and we both began treatment Tuesday night. 

So yay, I now know what's been the issue!! And there's a plan in place to make the pain go away...but of course it's not an easy one. Lucas needs this medicine FOUR times a day for 12 days!! EVERYTHING his mouth or my nipple (tmi?) comes in contact must be sterilized after every use (goodbye pacifiers! No more pumping for me! I only have two nursing bras because I'm cheap so do the math on that one of how often they need to be washed/steralized. No more bottles for Luke for a while!) What a pain, but it's so worth it to be pain free! The biggest complaint I have is that I've been working so hard to get my milk supply up and had enough milk stored up for when I go back to work plus for me to not have to do a few feedings whether I wanted to have an extra glass of wine ;-) or go on a long date with Jason or just catch a break from one of the night feedings. Well...I had to toss all of it! From what I could find there's mixed reports on if the milk would contain the yeast and after I go through all this I'm not taking the chance for Luke or I to get it back. But ugh, what a waste! 

So now that we're on day 3 of treatment I believe it's working but can't be 100% sure. I'm not in excrusiating pain anymore but I definetly don't think we're out of the woods yet. His medicine has about a 30% success rate for first time treatment. Time will tell if we're both yeast-free! 

I'm so thankful that I was able to figure out what was going wrong!! Oh and I went to the free lactation services yesterday for them to check Lucas' latch...they never got around to checking the latch but I did learn that Lucas weights 11 lbs 11 oz!! So I don't really think I had to worry much about him starving! Big boy is getting plenty of milk! 

Thanks again for all of your support! I hope this will help anyone else who may have issues! 

Answered Prayer - Our little Lucas

(I started this post last Sunday, it's taken me a while to finish it)

Happy Sunday! Generally Jason and I go to church on Saturday nights. Last night was our first time back at church since Lucas was born since the doctor said to wait 2 months. We waited almost 7 weeks, we couldn't hold out much longer! Lucas did so well at his first church service...he slept the entire time. When I was pregnant he almost always woke up during the music but not now...he wasn't phased at all! 

It was so great to be back in Gods house and I dont even know how to express what emotions I was feeling. I cried through every song. An overwhelming sense of gratitude to The Lord is certainly one of many.

It was almost exactly a year ago this weekend that we were sitting at this same church and God very clearly spoke to me. We'd been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and I was starting to get discouraged. I thought I wasn't going to be able to get pregnant and was starting to think about what could be done to help us get pregnant and also imagining what life may be like if we would be able to adopt a baby. But while sitting in church that day listening to the sermon God spoke very clearly telling me to have faith in Him and that we would get pregnant. It was very specific not just that we would have a baby but that I would get pregnant too. He gave me peace as I kept hearing him tell me that I just needed to trust him and have faith in him and his promises. As if I hadn't heard him loud and clear the entire time I sat through the sermon, at the end, he led me to the verse about Sarah conceiving. The verse I was supposed to be reading was about faith but as I looked it up I reversed some numbers and found myself reading instead about Sarah conceiving. It was no accident that after I felt like the entire sermon was directed completely at me telling me to trust God that he would give us our own baby that I was then reading a verse about Sarah and how she conceived at her ripe age. It was such a freeing feeling to hear so very clearly from God that our time would come but that I just needed to trust him and wait!

Sitting in church for the first time yesterday with our little boy brought me the biggest sense of gratitude to The Lord! He gave us what I had been praying so very hard for all those months. He came through on his promise and we were now the parents of a 6 week old precious baby boy! The emotions I was feeling were surreal. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks as I continued to worship Him through music. I am so thankful for my relationship with Christ and how faithful he's been to me over the years and now with our sweet baby. Thank you so much Lord for our little Lucas and for keeping your promises to me! We are just so in love with him!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Lucas - Week 7

Lucas is 7 weeks! As always, he's getting more alert and vocal. He's still growing like crazy but is also still (sort of) fitting in his 3 month clothes. We went out a lot this week which was good for both of us! It's amazing the things that start piling up after being stuck inside for so long! I had things to return from Christmas! I haven't had good food in the house especially after moving since Lucas came. Our first real outing was to New York and Co to buy me some new jeans. Still wearing my maternity jeans wasn't working for me anymore and while I did fit back into one of my pre-pregnancy jeans they weren't as flattering. I've accepted that my body has changed (I mean I had a child fall between my hips..that's going to permanently change how my body is!) and it's okay that I now wear a different style and size jeans.The little pouch of a stomach, however...needs to go! Getting back to Lucas, he slept through the entire experience, he's definitely got the right idea when it comes to shopping! (I hate shopping!) He loves being in his stroller, anything that moves makes him content and happy! (Well besides the swing that we forked out a lot of money for after trying someone else's that he loved...but he doesn't like his own! Lol) 

I also had my first of many, I went out to dinner with a friend and left him home with Jason. I think it was great for all of us! I enjoyed the dinner so much but then when we were getting the check I felt this overwhelming long for Lucas (and Jason!)  I was so excited to go back home to both of them! When I got home I was even excited to change Luke's diaper! (That excitement went away though after I changed it again!) I think it's so important to take time away from your baby both by yourself and with just your husband, but it's not easy to do! Financially (babysitter costs) and emotionally! 

Over the weekend we went out for a few meals to celebrate my "birthday weekend." (Any excuse we can use to go out to eat!) Lucas slept through all our meals. It cracks me up the extreme that people will go to see "the baby underneath the stroller cover." I guess everyone loves seeing babies! They also have a lot of opinions ranging from how cute he is, how small, how he's going to give himself a headache with his crying (we were at Target checking out and Lucas goes from silent sleeping to full on screaming when he's hungry.) I'm learning quickly that I just need to laugh. Everyone is going to have an opinion. And come on people, I have the cover over him to keep the germs out...I don't want you peeking in and touching him but many people think that's okay! 

We also went to church for the first time but I have been trying to write about that since we more later.

I'm so thankful I have this time off work to spend with my buddy! It's been so much fun to watch him grow! We love you so much Lucas!! 

Sneaking a break from unpacking for some cuddle time and photo opp!

At New York and Co shopping 

First time out to breakfast!

Morning cuddle time with me! 

Not the best picture to capture his sweet little face but I was changing him and laid him down on the couch and realized how big he is!! He's no longer a tiny little peanut! 

Night time! Someone is not interested in sleeping! 

Went to take his picture in one of his onesies from the shower and Sam would not move. Made for a cute picture. :) 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Lucas - Week 6

Lucas is 6 weeks old! I'm so thankful I'm taking an extra 6 weeks (unpaid) off from work. I can't imagine having to go back to work this week. Not only for the obvious of not wanting to leave him but also I'm personally just not ready. I'm still up and awake for large amounts of time at night and we're still developing a routine during the day. I feel like if I went back to with this week I'd hardly be able to function with the lack of sleep. 

We interviewed a nanny this week who we both really liked. We had 3 set up but one canceled because she found another job and the other just never showed up. (Who does that?!) I'm going to check out our school districts daycare later this week as well.

Breastfeeding has become a little bit of a challenge. It's become pretty painful. I'm pretty sure it's because of his latch, it's going to be hard to break whatever bad habit we've gotten into. I've been trying to fix the issue on my own but have been unsuccessful so I'm looking into meeting with a lactation consultant but they cost a lot!

The house is coming along but extremely slowly. Jason and I mastered the art of packing over the last couple years with our short term move in Chicago then our big move to Colorado. However all of our skills went out the door when we found out we were closing a month earlier than planned and then wanted to be in our house the day we closed. We basically packed boxes with anything that fit with no real system or organization. So now the unpacking is messy and unorganized. Having an infant who wants to be held A LOT doesn't really allow me to get much unpacking done. Saturday, Jason and a few friends helped him get the last truck load of everything at our apartment loaded up and brought to the house. Pause for a HUGE thank you to Jake, Josh and Nate for helping him get everything here and unloaded!! Thank you Jason too for all you did to get everything packed, moved and in its place in the new house!! They were all amazing! Jason and I went back that night and packed up all the remaining odds and ends and cleaned out the refrigerator then cleaned and vacuumed the apartment. While I was very emotional leaving there I'm so thankful to have it completely empty and cleaned! I hope to post on that soon but man did we make some sweet memories in that apartment. So much has changed in two years, God certainly had blessed us in so many ways!!

Lucas is still changing so much! He's even more alert than last week. He's making the cutest faces at us. He's no longer a super easy baby, he is a bit more fussy than before requiring us to hold him generally for a few hours in the morning/afternoon then again right before bed. He's now only waking twice in the middle if the night which I so appreciate! One around 2:00 then not again until 5ish so technically the second one is morning. ;-) His 3 month clothes are just fitting him, I'm not sure how much more time time we'll get out of them, especially his 3 month sleepers. Newborn sized diapers are too small and size 1 are huge. If anyone has any tips on what I'm supposed to do about that I'd appreciate it! I'm still not supposed to go out of the house (because of flu season) for a couple more weeks but we broke that rule. I took him to his first (of many I'm sure) trip to Target! I avoided all people as much as possible but wow it was so nice to be out. Then on Valentines Day Jason and I went to one of our favorite low-key sushi places. Lucas slept through our whole date!  Sadly the sushi didn't sit well with him and gave him a few blow-out diapers that night. So no more sushi for this mama for a while! What a fun week with our sweet little boy!  I'm loving every minute with him!

Wearing his big boy clothes! He looks so much older in pants instead of sleepers! 

Waving "hi!" (I LOVE our mornings together!!!)

How can you not love this baby?


Getting a quick snuggle from Daddy on his lunch break!

I didn't get a pic of him on his first outing to Target but this was on our way! Thanks Jeanie and Ed for the jacket!! 

Cooper is supposed to be in the way back but while in Target he broke free and snuck up front.  He's looks so cute sitting next to Lucas keeping an eye on him while we drive home. :)  

This was Lucas while we ate our sushi and had our date night. Asleep the entire time! And ps...this was his Valentines Day outfit since I went to dress him and realized that since I wasn't allowed out, he didn't have a cute little Valentines outfit.  The vest is his only red piece of clothing.  I thought it was perfect!  Very boy-ish...not to love-y. :)

Posing for the ladies (and his grandma's) on Valentines Day! 

One of the many onesies that was made for Lucas at my baby shower. This one by Andrea "My heart belongs to Chicago (Chicago flag).  I cannot wait for Lucas to see my favorite city!!

Lucas wearing the very first outfit that was given to him but Grandma Cindy and Papa (Dave)  He looks so precious!

Lucas sleeping at night in his super over-sized sleep sack.  I hate the nights of waking up every 2-4 hours but looking over at this sweet face makes it all soooooo worth it! Love you Baby Lucas!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentines Day!

I love Valentines Day! Some say we should be showing love every day so there's no need for Valentines Day. I agree that we should love every day. But I also love that we get to take one day a year to celebrate love! A day to exchange cards, flowers, call a friend and tell them you love them, wear red, go on a special date or many other "lovey" things. What's not to love about Valentines day!? One more thing I absolutely love is this adorable little boy! Happy 1st Valentines Day Lucas! Daddy and Mommy love you so much! 

Monday, February 10, 2014

Lucas is ONE Month

Lucas also turned 1 month last week. We attempted the pictures on his 1 month day but he wasn't very cooperative! We got some cute ones yesterday though. We measured him on his 1 month and he is 21 inches so he's grown 2 inches since he was born! He's filling out so much too! I wish I could get an accurate weight each week. He's awake so much more of the time now but still such a happy baby. He has a new routine down...he's awake a fussy in the morning then happy the rest of the day until the last hour and a half or so before bed when he's fussy again. But he's been sleeping for much longer chunks of the night which I so appreciate! He's still sleeping at night in the rock and play. I know I should move him to the pack and play and eventually to his crib but I can't bring myself to do it just yet! I hope to start nap time in the pack and play more so then the night transition will be easier. I just fear that moving him at night to the pack and play will bring a fussy baby at night and I enjoy my sleep too much at this point. We'll see! Lucas is still eating like a champ. Not to give too much info but he's really rough on my poor nipples but I'm thankful he has latched right from the beginning and breastfeeds really well. I wish there was a way to let him know I'm not a rubber band to be pulled back on! He can also pretty much hold his head up on his own now too. So many changes for our sweet boy! I couldn't pick just one picture, so I posted many!  Love love love our little one month old!

Lucas - Week 5

Another week has flown by and Lucas is now 5 weeks old! It was a busy week being in our new house with so much to unpack and get settled. We still have a lot of furniture and things at our apartment that needs to be packed up and moved here but we'll get there. We have until the end of March to get everything out but it's our goal to have it all here by the end of next week.  I am trying to spend as much time soaking Lucas in though so he is my top priority...the house will get settled by the time I have to go back to work.  

My mom visited for a few days so she got to meet and love on Lucas, Jason and I. I was so gratefu for her help this week as an extra set of hands too! I said this last week but moving with a newborn and it being just Jason and I has proved more difficult than I'd have liked. A baby just takes up so much time! (in a good way though!) While my mom was here, we were able to pack up and grab a load from the apartment which was a big help for me. She went grocery shopping for us and cooked both nights she was here. (Home cooked meals are such a treat right now since I haven't cooked much since about month 4 of pregnancy!) She watched Lucas while I went to Goodwill for some much-needed books (I still need to share about my addiction to that!) and a few sleepers. She also unpacked and organized our pantry which was something I needed a lot of help with! Plus it was nice to just have her here to chat with as my days are starting to get rather lonely not being able to go out with Lucas yet.  There's something about your mom being here too and just the reassurance of things when you have a newborn. Mom's just know. I was sad to see her go but thankfully she'll be back with my dad later this month or next and I can't wait!

Another highlight of the week was that Jason and I got a bedroom set! It was something we knew we wanted once we got our house and had been saving for and I wasted no time picking it out and having it delivered! We are both in love with it! I feel like such a grown up! A baby, a house AND a bedroom set! ;-) 

Lucas's furniture is all set up in his room this week too! Last week he outgrew his newborn sizes and this week he grew comfortably into his 0-3 month size. I'm not sure how he'll still fit in this size 3 months for too much longer but we'll see! I want to paint his room so Jason picked up some color swatches for me. No idea when I'll ever find time to paint the room, there's a reason people get the nursery painted and set up before the baby arrives but us Lockwood's like to do things differently I guess! I can't wait to paint and have his room completely set up.  

More of a Lucas update on his One Month post...but here are some pics of him the past week. They're out of order but you get the idea.


One of his super cute 3 month sleepers, sleeves rolled up because it was so big on him.


Quality time with Grandma Cindy!


Awake a lot more than before!


After tummy time...he's not a fan of tummy time yet but his neck is so strong so I am thankful for that!


On our way to pick up Grandma from the airport! 


Meeting Grandma Cindy last Tuesday night


Grandma taking a break from the pantry to sneak in some cuddles! (the background gives a good idea of how unpacked we are!!)



First 3 generations picture!


Apparently I like this sleeper so much I got it in NB and 0-3 month least I am consistent!


Cute little sleeper from Aunt Shelby! 

Sleeping on mama! My favorite thing in the world these days! Cuddling with Lucas! 

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Lucas - Week 4

Lucas has grown quite a bit in the past week. I'm not exaggerating when I say he outgrew his newborn sizes overnight! He's awake a lot more of the time now and is starting to have such a little personality! Along with his alertness, he's fussy for several hours each evening but one night that meant he slept an extra hour for me at night. I'll take that! We moved into our new home over the weekend which I thought was fine but it was a lot harder than I thought. I shouldn't be lifting heavy boxes or furniture quite yet so that meant there was a lot for Jason to have to do on his own. We have SO MUCH STUFF! How does one couple plus new baby and two animals accumulate that much stuff !? We also had terrible weather for the move - really cold and snowing which made for a wet evening. Jason just kept plugging along carting box after box and moving each piece if furniture. I said this when we did the move to Colorado but wow did he look good driving that big truck! He did such a great job moving everything and without complaint. Made me so proud to be his wife. We are so very grateful for our friends, Jake and Jaimie, to help us with the move. Jake volunteered several hours on Friday night to help Jason unload while Jaimie was home with her two boys all while getting over the flu herself. Huge thank you to them for helping us! 

Lucas now has his own bedroom that I can't wait to paint and get situated. We sure didn't have to wait long living in our small apartment before we got into a house! God is so good! Lucas didn't sleep the best our first night in the new place but who could blame him after the day we'd had! Over the week he has taken a liking to laying flat on his back instead of at an incline in his rock and play or bouncy seat. We've done tummy time (his neck is already so strong!). This week was a little hard on me because the focus had to be on packing, the closing, moving and unpacking. I found myself missing Lucas so so much and just wanting things to be "normal" so I could cuddle and love on him. I don't think we'll be seeing normal for a while with the amount of unpacking we still have to do but by the end of the weekend I decided enough was moved in and I NEEDED spend more time back with my new buddy loving on him. Everything will get put away in the right time but Lucas will only be this age for this long and before I know it I'll be back to work when I don't have the option to love on him (tear). 

Bilirubin update is that it went up a tad from last week but not enough to need lights but means we'll have to go back to lab AGAIN to get more bloodwork. Poor little guy! Thankful it's just for jaundice and not something serious. As annoying as I think it is to go every week I know it's nothing serious and really is just that, an annoyance. 

Lucas, I absolutely love being your mom, thank you for all the snuggles and patience as we're learning how to raise you! 


Our friend, Cheryl and Brooklyn came to visit Lucas


Another bath! I'm starting to get the hang of bath time so it's much faster. I wouldn't say either of us are enjoying bath time but we get the job done and since he gets so cold afterwards (even though I crank up my space heater) it allows us with some guaranteed quality cuddle time to warm him up!


Morning snuggle time with Mom



On our way to the closing! He's still really good in the car! 


Waking up with Mom - my favorite time with Lucas! 


First morning at our new house, Lucas is taking in all the new sights! :)



At my baby shower, friends and family decorated onesies. Lucas is starting to fit in them. He sported this one to get ready for Grandma Cindy's arrival next week.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Super Bowl

I was hoping I could post this picture with a post of the Broncos winning the Super Bowl the year Lucas was born but sadly that's not the case. Lucas still looks adorable in this picture!