Thankfulness

As I've shared a hundred times already, I'm on Fall Break this week.  I made a big list of things I wanted to to do this week but there were three things I said I'd do every day.  First and foremost was to spend each morning with the Lord in prayer, doing my devotions and working on my Bible study.  The second was to work out - every single day and the third was to bring Cooper to the dog park every day.  While I failed miserable in the gym department not doing anything more physical than lifting my wine glass to my mouth each night, I have managed to take Cooper to the park 3 of 4 days and plan to take him today.  The best part has been that every day I have spent the better part of my morning quiet and in prayer with God.

The very first day God told me I really need to work on being content on where I'm at and I felt such a calming over me once hearing that. I finally felt "okay" with living here in our apartment and decided to needed to finally hang our family pictures and make this home. After hearing that, I felt like a new person ready to conquer that day and begin the week. I also promised Him I'd really work on turning to Him for my everything.  While I've really been trying to turn to him in all areas of my life it really is going to be a work in progress. I mean I have been told that thousands of times and it's like it's a new concept each time I hear it, but I have been and will continue to work on it.  I find it to be so much easier when I'm not working and just doing small things...there's so much less hustle and bustle so a lot easier to remember to turn to Him. As for the "being content" part oh I am failing miserably.  I've shared here about my needing to wait on things right now and waiting on Him but I cannot for the life of me seem to get that down. I cannot stop wanting what I don't have. As a side-note I cannot believe I blogged about that way back in the beginning of August and am probably doing worse now at listening and waiting than I was then!!

I am obsessed with finding a house. We moved here for a house, along with many other opportunities and because we felt God telling us to move here but the idea of moving out of the cramped city with no storage, basement, garage, yard, etc and moving to a house with all of that was more than appealing. Almost every house we have found and liked I hear the whisper of God telling us to wait.  After looking at one more house last night, Jason and I have decided that we are to pay off my student loans before house hunting again.  I am not sure I can do that, especially since I'm not even making a teachers income right now.  I told Jason I'd like to just table the house hunting for a while, get a plan down that we can really pay off my (incredibly dumb) loans and then  see where we're at in either a few months or a year.

But in all honesty, the house is just a small portion of life's wants right now.  I miss home, I want friends, I want community, I want couple-y friends for Jason and I, I want good neighbors, I want a baby, I eventually want a new car, I want a solid strong marriage, I want my friends and family from Chicago to come visit me or call more, I want another cat (Jason will probably never allow that one!:) I want the student I work with at school to be more content at school, I want a yard for Cooper, I want this constant feel of loneliness and weirdness to go away, I want to live closer to the mountains, I want the city-life back, I want to make more money, I want to be a much better wife which means being a lot cleaner, a much better cook, (both those will probably never happen!) I want to be a better friend to those I already have. I want so much right now and feel like I've been miserable at everything I should be lately and at the same time not getting anything I want.

This morning I was all ready to tell God just how sad I am and how I don't understand why nothing seems to be going right but God with his awesome sense of humor ever so subtly told me he didn't really want another morning of my complaints. Instead He reminded me that He would like to be praised and wanted me to share in a moment (or hour) of thankfulness.  It was really really clear to me in my devotions today that I should instead be rejoicing in all I DO have instead of whining in what I can't seem to get right now. He's actually been telling me this ever since I've moved here and I've told you all as much, but here it is again 7 months and 1 day (to be exact) into this journey to Colorado and I'm being told again...I have so much to be thankful for. So so so so much!! Yes, I think this is a hard time right now, and I'm not getting much of what I think I need and want today but I need to rejoice!  Be thankful! I have always said, "Be joyful in hope!"  I have so much hope in me and even way beyond hope, I have so many awesome and great things in my life...hundreds and thousands!

So what better time of the year but November, the month of thankfulness to be prompted to be thankful?!  I am going to dedicate this month (like so many other bloggers and Facebookers) to writing each day what I am most thankful for.

It's pretty obvious what I am most thankful for today... 

I am most thankful for our Lord and Savior who can give me a kick in the butt when I really need it. I don't need to wallow in my sadness but instead am reminded that He is always with me.  When I'm sad, when I'm happy, when there are hard times (I mean the really hard times...not these "woe is me" moments like I wrote about above).  God is so good and so much bigger than anything we'll ever face here on Earth.  I am constantly reminded that our time here is so short compared to an Eternity with Him.  I hope I do live my life in a way that makes Him proud. I know I mess up a lot and am so thankful for His grace.  He loves me more than I'll ever be able to understand and oh how thankful I am for that!  Thank you Lord for reminding me of all I have to be thankful for right now.  I am so excited to spend some time each day with you all and sharing what it is I'm grateful for. Join me in this journey that so many are already doing this month...never mind that I am a day late! Share what you are thankful for by adding a comment.

Thanks to each of you who read along with me, I hope this is an amazing month of reflection for you as well. Love to each of you!