Finding a Job...and Friends

It's been a tough couple months looking and interviewing for jobs.  I decided while student teaching that I am  applying for teacher aide position so I can shadow a (hopefully!) "good" teacher for a year.  I've been applying for teaching jobs as well as I think I'm qualified but am trying to be realistic about the teaching job opportunities out there.

I've applied for 96 jobs the past few months (yes, I literally just went in and counted them all!) and have had approximately 8 interviews, with all being for an aide position and one teaching position. They've been scattered throughout 3 different districts. (The districts here are HUGE compared to IL, except the obvious CPS.)

It was really nice having my mom here one week and then our trip to Vegas.  A little get-away to not have to worry about trying to land a job or figure out what I'll do with the rest of my summer without a job or friends. But the couple weeks leading up to and then following have been pretty hard.

I've been so up and down in my emotions.  Being turned down for job after job really takes a toll on you.  After analyzing the situation a hundred times in my head like I like to do, I realized I haven't  been employed since 2009 and the last job I had I was laid off from, so that was a pretty big hit to my ego and self-worth as it was. Not to mention that I spent 9 months applying for jobs after the lay-off (and about 6 months prior to that) so when you add up all the rejection I've had over the last many years it makes a lot more sense.  This isn't just about trying to land a job in a whole new career.

Plus you add to that that I'm in a new town where I pretty much know no one.  I am also starting to get pretty lonely.  A job wouldn't make the loneliness go away but it would certainly help me with my need for community and a chance to socialize with people.  I am such a social being...I thrive on human interaction. I can't sit a day at home without being around people. I need people around me, often and a lot...and to be fully engaged with them.  Quality time, as I like to call it.

A little over a week ago I was driving home from an interview that I didn't really feel went very well and just started crying.  I know I have been brought to Colorado for some reason so why has it been so hard?!  But then it dawned on me that it's only been two months.  While I feel like I've been unemployed for about 3 1/2 years, the reality is that I just finished student teaching less than three months ago. Not to mention that I have had to figure out all the different districts here and apply. (which for any teacher or anyone applying to a school knows how long the process is). I know that God has something great waiting for me.  I know I need to wait on Him and am learning from each interview I go to how I can do better. I can already look back at some of the ones I've been on and know they weren't where I should be teaching or what I feel I have been called to.  I have faith that He will show me where He wants me...maybe it won't even be in a school setting? Maybe this time is just about me (still) needing to learn to wait on Him?  Maybe I am not finding a job or meeting anyone here because I still have a long way to go when it comes to only having Him and Jason to talk to these days? Whatever reason it is, I know I need to keep believing and trusting...in myself and God.  And I am...I just wish it would be a tiny bit easier. I wish I could meet just a few friends or had a couple people reach out to me.  I realized that what I have been praying for with the job though He has been answering.  He has given me so much hope with the number of interviews.  It seems that when I am really down and praying about another rejection the phone will ring within the day to set up another interview. So I need to keep that feeling of hope deep deep inside of me.

Sorry for the downer post...I promised many I'd be honest about my transition here and because of my sad mood I haven't wanted to write.  I know with anything in life, it just takes one moment for things to completely switch around.  Just one phone call from an interview offering me a job or one encounter at church or the grocery store (do people meet at the grocery store?!) who knows where I might meet people...so for now I'll be praying for just that...a moment. Like I used to say when I was laid off back in the day.  "Be joyful in Hope!"  He's got this and I can and need to take comfort in that alone.