Time Slow Down

I have been terrible at posting like I promised myself I would do this year. I think when I posted that last time, it was also the last time I was at the gym. Which in all fairness is because when I am pregnant, I am tried. All the time. And the last thing I would ever want to do is work out. I find it absolutely crazy that I just ran 13 miles in July. I cant even imagine WALKING one mile right now. Pregnancy just kicks my butt.

Anyway, as I was tucking Lucas in for his nap today and he was walking around in circles in his crib so I would kiss his head each time he walked around.This happens every day I put him down for a nap. But today I started to tear up. This is one of those many, tiny moments that happen during the day but only last about a week and will quickly be over. A year or maybe even months down the road, I won't remember that for a week we did this silly little ritual to get him to calm down enough for nap. How when we are supposed to be calming down for nap but instead every time he walks past me I kiss his little head, he busts out laughing and then I cant help but crack a smile which turns to a laugh so we are a step further behind in the "calming down" part. But you guys...these are the moments! These are the moments I live for! But life has been going so full speed that I haven't had time to cherish them.

My love language is words of affirmation. Jason is really awful at it, (sounds mean, but it's true) so I have encouraged him to write me silly love notes when he travels so I can find the throughout the morning once he's gone. I absolutely LOVE when he remembers and takes the time to do this. It builds me up for weeks!! Well this week he wrote one that said, Lucas loves you...even right now in the middle of this meltdown. And isn't that so true? I mean not so much about Lucas loving me...but that these moments, the super hard and trying moments when all I want is a moment to myself or not to have to deal with a temper tantrum...these are the moments I am going to miss because it is one big package. The meltdown and whiny moments mixed with the super cute, I just want to squeeze you and eat you up moments!

But sometimes for me, as a stay at home mom, it just gets to be a LOT. A lot of the same. Day in day out. Wake up, same routine all day long, then hit the hay exhausted and wake up to do it all over again. So I keep busy because Lucas does so much better out of the house and at play dates and with other kids (as do I!). It works for both of us. Yet, every single night I go to bed with a thankful heart because lately tings have been amazing. I couldn't ask for any more and I am not being cheesy or fake. Life is truly all I could ever ask for. At least right now, in this exact moment in my life. I've had many, many moments in the past couple months where God has made this very evident to me.So even with the same old, same old routine...it's our same old, and it's pretty amazing. I just need to find a happy medium of the hustle and bustle, go, go, go and being bored and lonely at home. How do I find this medium?

Lucas seems so grown up to me. He is not a little baby anymore, he's starting to talk a lot more, he has opinions on things, is very quick to tell us what he wants or doesn't want. But he is only 2! TWO!! He's still a little kid, a tiny little toddler! I know someday I will look back at all his pictures today and say, look at that baby face, just as I do with his infant pictures now. So now it's time to do something about it. I've very over committed right now and there's many things I have taken on and truly feel it's important to continue what I've started until it's complete. Or maybe it's my husband who feels that way?!  Either way I have another 6 weeks of this insanity. And in the meantime I hope I can find one part of each day to take the time to write down what one special thing. Whether it's here in the blog or just in my overcrowded notes in my phone. A purposeful time that makes me stop and think. To enjoy all the blessings around me and especially what a blessing Lucas and my family are to me. This kid isn't getting any smaller and time will keep moving forward, but hopefully I can get better at stopping and taking a moment to reflect on it all. So very thankful for these days!!