Today's moment was when I had to move Lucas from his breathing treatment to the changing area to change his diaper. He was so engrossed in whatever he was doing on the iPad that he let me carry him and hug him. He rarely lets me carry him anywhere and it was a precious two minutes of cuddle time. So thankful for him and these moments!
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Today's Moment
As I posted yesterday, I'm a super reflective person and need time to process and reflect on things. Times zipping by and Lucas is growing up so fast and the days are getting so busy I don't take the time to be reflective. I'm going to try to slow down time by enjoying a special moment each day then writing it down here or in my phone.
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Time Slow Down
I have been terrible at posting like I promised myself I would do this year. I think when I posted that last time, it was also the last time I was at the gym. Which in all fairness is because when I am pregnant, I am tried. All the time. And the last thing I would ever want to do is work out. I find it absolutely crazy that I just ran 13 miles in July. I cant even imagine WALKING one mile right now. Pregnancy just kicks my butt.
Anyway, as I was tucking Lucas in for his nap today and he was walking around in circles in his crib so I would kiss his head each time he walked around.This happens every day I put him down for a nap. But today I started to tear up. This is one of those many, tiny moments that happen during the day but only last about a week and will quickly be over. A year or maybe even months down the road, I won't remember that for a week we did this silly little ritual to get him to calm down enough for nap. How when we are supposed to be calming down for nap but instead every time he walks past me I kiss his little head, he busts out laughing and then I cant help but crack a smile which turns to a laugh so we are a step further behind in the "calming down" part. But you guys...these are the moments! These are the moments I live for! But life has been going so full speed that I haven't had time to cherish them.
My love language is words of affirmation. Jason is really awful at it, (sounds mean, but it's true) so I have encouraged him to write me silly love notes when he travels so I can find the throughout the morning once he's gone. I absolutely LOVE when he remembers and takes the time to do this. It builds me up for weeks!! Well this week he wrote one that said, Lucas loves you...even right now in the middle of this meltdown. And isn't that so true? I mean not so much about Lucas loving me...but that these moments, the super hard and trying moments when all I want is a moment to myself or not to have to deal with a temper tantrum...these are the moments I am going to miss because it is one big package. The meltdown and whiny moments mixed with the super cute, I just want to squeeze you and eat you up moments!
But sometimes for me, as a stay at home mom, it just gets to be a LOT. A lot of the same. Day in day out. Wake up, same routine all day long, then hit the hay exhausted and wake up to do it all over again. So I keep busy because Lucas does so much better out of the house and at play dates and with other kids (as do I!). It works for both of us. Yet, every single night I go to bed with a thankful heart because lately tings have been amazing. I couldn't ask for any more and I am not being cheesy or fake. Life is truly all I could ever ask for. At least right now, in this exact moment in my life. I've had many, many moments in the past couple months where God has made this very evident to me.So even with the same old, same old routine...it's our same old, and it's pretty amazing. I just need to find a happy medium of the hustle and bustle, go, go, go and being bored and lonely at home. How do I find this medium?
Lucas seems so grown up to me. He is not a little baby anymore, he's starting to talk a lot more, he has opinions on things, is very quick to tell us what he wants or doesn't want. But he is only 2! TWO!! He's still a little kid, a tiny little toddler! I know someday I will look back at all his pictures today and say, look at that baby face, just as I do with his infant pictures now. So now it's time to do something about it. I've very over committed right now and there's many things I have taken on and truly feel it's important to continue what I've started until it's complete. Or maybe it's my husband who feels that way?! Either way I have another 6 weeks of this insanity. And in the meantime I hope I can find one part of each day to take the time to write down what one special thing. Whether it's here in the blog or just in my overcrowded notes in my phone. A purposeful time that makes me stop and think. To enjoy all the blessings around me and especially what a blessing Lucas and my family are to me. This kid isn't getting any smaller and time will keep moving forward, but hopefully I can get better at stopping and taking a moment to reflect on it all. So very thankful for these days!!
Anyway, as I was tucking Lucas in for his nap today and he was walking around in circles in his crib so I would kiss his head each time he walked around.This happens every day I put him down for a nap. But today I started to tear up. This is one of those many, tiny moments that happen during the day but only last about a week and will quickly be over. A year or maybe even months down the road, I won't remember that for a week we did this silly little ritual to get him to calm down enough for nap. How when we are supposed to be calming down for nap but instead every time he walks past me I kiss his little head, he busts out laughing and then I cant help but crack a smile which turns to a laugh so we are a step further behind in the "calming down" part. But you guys...these are the moments! These are the moments I live for! But life has been going so full speed that I haven't had time to cherish them.
My love language is words of affirmation. Jason is really awful at it, (sounds mean, but it's true) so I have encouraged him to write me silly love notes when he travels so I can find the throughout the morning once he's gone. I absolutely LOVE when he remembers and takes the time to do this. It builds me up for weeks!! Well this week he wrote one that said, Lucas loves you...even right now in the middle of this meltdown. And isn't that so true? I mean not so much about Lucas loving me...but that these moments, the super hard and trying moments when all I want is a moment to myself or not to have to deal with a temper tantrum...these are the moments I am going to miss because it is one big package. The meltdown and whiny moments mixed with the super cute, I just want to squeeze you and eat you up moments!
But sometimes for me, as a stay at home mom, it just gets to be a LOT. A lot of the same. Day in day out. Wake up, same routine all day long, then hit the hay exhausted and wake up to do it all over again. So I keep busy because Lucas does so much better out of the house and at play dates and with other kids (as do I!). It works for both of us. Yet, every single night I go to bed with a thankful heart because lately tings have been amazing. I couldn't ask for any more and I am not being cheesy or fake. Life is truly all I could ever ask for. At least right now, in this exact moment in my life. I've had many, many moments in the past couple months where God has made this very evident to me.So even with the same old, same old routine...it's our same old, and it's pretty amazing. I just need to find a happy medium of the hustle and bustle, go, go, go and being bored and lonely at home. How do I find this medium?
Lucas seems so grown up to me. He is not a little baby anymore, he's starting to talk a lot more, he has opinions on things, is very quick to tell us what he wants or doesn't want. But he is only 2! TWO!! He's still a little kid, a tiny little toddler! I know someday I will look back at all his pictures today and say, look at that baby face, just as I do with his infant pictures now. So now it's time to do something about it. I've very over committed right now and there's many things I have taken on and truly feel it's important to continue what I've started until it's complete. Or maybe it's my husband who feels that way?! Either way I have another 6 weeks of this insanity. And in the meantime I hope I can find one part of each day to take the time to write down what one special thing. Whether it's here in the blog or just in my overcrowded notes in my phone. A purposeful time that makes me stop and think. To enjoy all the blessings around me and especially what a blessing Lucas and my family are to me. This kid isn't getting any smaller and time will keep moving forward, but hopefully I can get better at stopping and taking a moment to reflect on it all. So very thankful for these days!!
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
It's a...
Girl!! We are expecting a baby girl the end of June and couldn't me more excited! (Or um, scared. ;-))
Anyone want to come visit in June, July, August? We'd love some extra hands and love!
I'm so excited to have one of each, and a winter baby and summer baby! Now it's time to think about what color the nursery is going to be! I'm so not into pink. Suggestions?
(We haven't posted on FB intentionally so if you read it here please don't post on FB unless we do first. Thank you!)
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Happy 2nd Birthday Lucas!!
Happy birthday to our Lucas Jon! His birthday was actually on Wednesday, but he's been really sick all week so we weren't able to celebrate. Today he was finally feeling better so we celebrated with some sugar cookies which are his favorite these days. I may have made them just so I could hear him say "cookie" because it is so stinking cute! We also opened gifts which he loved every single one! Big thanks to our family who sent gifts, he loves his new chair, book, backpack, suitcase and water bottle. I knew he'd love all those but he REALLY loved them! He gets so excited about everything. I just fall in love with this boy every day.
We love you Lucas and are so thankful God has blessed us with you. Keep being your spunky, energetic, loving, caring, sweet, vibrant, challenging, cute little self. We wouldn't change a thing about you and are so proud of the boy your are becoming!!
Walking with his new suitcase and backpack.
We love you Lucas and are so thankful God has blessed us with you. Keep being your spunky, energetic, loving, caring, sweet, vibrant, challenging, cute little self. We wouldn't change a thing about you and are so proud of the boy your are becoming!!
His "smile" face
Walking with his new suitcase and backpack.
So excited!
Monday, January 4, 2016
Happy 2016!
It's a new year so while I don't like to do resolutions I figured it was appropriate to make it a goal to start up the writing and blog again. It seems as each day passes, life just keeps speeding up and the days and weeks go faster. Lucas is turning two on Wednesday, TWO! How is this possible? Being that he was born the first day after Winter Break, I'm sure not a year will go by then I don't think about our last Winter Break as a family of two and just how much our lives changed after that two week break together. It was on my mind constantly the past two weeks how we were expecting Lucas to come at the end of January but then just after New Years our little bundle made his appearance. How was that already two years ago? Seems like last week, or maybe last month, but not last year!
But then when I really think about how much our lives have changed, how much my heart has exploded in size with love and just how much has really happened in the past two years, it feels like it's been just that long.
But I don't have much to show for it here. I keep up for a while but then we go on vacation or a bunch happens in a short time and I get overwhelmed with trying to write every detail and worry about who I might offend because I didn't have time to write about something they were involved in so I don't write. I used to write because it was therapeutic and helped me sort my thoughts, then it was a way to capture all I was seeing when I was laid off and not working, then it was for us to keep up with family after we moved across the country. But now I do it so I can look back at the memories that are going way too fast. So this year that's what I want to do, write when I have time, but try hard to capture the days that are passing way too fast! And please, please, don't be offended if I miss a big event that may have involved you!
Hope everyone has a great Christmas and Happy New Year! Thanks to everyone who may join back with me as I hope to write more this year!
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Facebook De-Activated
It's been almost two weeks since I deactivated my Facebook account. I have taken it off my phone before and taken long breaks from it but I've never actually deactivated it. My goal was to go a week without it and then I could take it from there. I was nervous about deactivating but after the first day I haven't even noticed I'm not on it.
When I first joined Facebook it was fun reconnecting with so many high school and college friends who I wouldn't normally see or get updates from. It was fun putting status updates and pictures and seeing everyone else's pictures. I loved (and still love) all the engagement, marriage and baby announcements. But in the past couple years it's seemed to me that Facebook has gotten so negative. Not only all the political and religious posts have gotten to be too much but all the comments about everything. When I deactivated, I think the latest trending news was about the mom who left her baby in the shopping cart at Wal-Mart for an hour. Some person who found the baby took a pic of the baby and posted it on the internet for everyone in the world to see and share their thoughts about what an awful mom she was! Seriously!? Not to mention how absurd it is to post a pic of this poor baby that isn't yours on the internet but what business is this of ours!? Why would someone feel the need to publicly shame some woman they don't know!? A women who is very clearly sleep deprived and was so upset for what she had done. Instead of shaming her, how about we step up and help her with running her errands or making her food or watching her kids so she can get some sleep? Another example from a couple months ago...some couple left their dog in the car and someone took a pic of them and blasted that on the internet where everyone shared the pic then again publicly shamed them as they supposedly were out enjoying a lunch while their dog was hot in the car. We have absolutely no idea if that story is even true. She could have been out of the car for 5 minutes and the dog was fine. We have no idea what really happened except that some person claimed on thing and then we think it's okay to post their pic on the internet for everyone to see. Regardless of what these people are doing wrong, it it no better of us to destroy their lives. (I still think back to Steve Bartman and what the media did to him pre-Facebook days! Poor guy!)
Sorry I've gone on a bit of a tangent...which just shows me again why I needed to deactivate and get myself away from Facebook all together. I'm tired of all the selective parts of people lives they chose to show. It's impossible not to compare your lives to what people portray is theirs even when you know their life isn't all perfect. I am sick of the million blog posts by moms covering every imaginable topic, organic vs processed, breast vs. bottle, stay at home mom vs working mom, home-schooling vs public schools, pre-school vs no pre-school. What NOT to say to a someone with XYZ, What TO say to someone with XYZ. What to say to a friend who lost their mom/dad/brother/grandma and what NOT to say. I'm a people pleaser so the more of these articles I read the more I'm afraid to open my mouth in fear of saying the wrong thing. But according to all these articles written by random people I will never meet, saying nothing is really the wrong thing. AHHH so what do I do?!
Its funny because when I have complained to Jason about all of this, he said his newsfeed is nothing like mine. So maybe it's just the type of things I have clicked on in the past and now they're constant;y showing up on my newsfeed. Maybe mines more negative than other peoples? All I know is that for me... I am so happy to take a break for a while. I look forward to when I go back it'll just like when I first signed up and I'll get to see all sorts of engagements, marriages, babyies and everything that drew me to Facebook in the beginning!
When I first joined Facebook it was fun reconnecting with so many high school and college friends who I wouldn't normally see or get updates from. It was fun putting status updates and pictures and seeing everyone else's pictures. I loved (and still love) all the engagement, marriage and baby announcements. But in the past couple years it's seemed to me that Facebook has gotten so negative. Not only all the political and religious posts have gotten to be too much but all the comments about everything. When I deactivated, I think the latest trending news was about the mom who left her baby in the shopping cart at Wal-Mart for an hour. Some person who found the baby took a pic of the baby and posted it on the internet for everyone in the world to see and share their thoughts about what an awful mom she was! Seriously!? Not to mention how absurd it is to post a pic of this poor baby that isn't yours on the internet but what business is this of ours!? Why would someone feel the need to publicly shame some woman they don't know!? A women who is very clearly sleep deprived and was so upset for what she had done. Instead of shaming her, how about we step up and help her with running her errands or making her food or watching her kids so she can get some sleep? Another example from a couple months ago...some couple left their dog in the car and someone took a pic of them and blasted that on the internet where everyone shared the pic then again publicly shamed them as they supposedly were out enjoying a lunch while their dog was hot in the car. We have absolutely no idea if that story is even true. She could have been out of the car for 5 minutes and the dog was fine. We have no idea what really happened except that some person claimed on thing and then we think it's okay to post their pic on the internet for everyone to see. Regardless of what these people are doing wrong, it it no better of us to destroy their lives. (I still think back to Steve Bartman and what the media did to him pre-Facebook days! Poor guy!)
Sorry I've gone on a bit of a tangent...which just shows me again why I needed to deactivate and get myself away from Facebook all together. I'm tired of all the selective parts of people lives they chose to show. It's impossible not to compare your lives to what people portray is theirs even when you know their life isn't all perfect. I am sick of the million blog posts by moms covering every imaginable topic, organic vs processed, breast vs. bottle, stay at home mom vs working mom, home-schooling vs public schools, pre-school vs no pre-school. What NOT to say to a someone with XYZ, What TO say to someone with XYZ. What to say to a friend who lost their mom/dad/brother/grandma and what NOT to say. I'm a people pleaser so the more of these articles I read the more I'm afraid to open my mouth in fear of saying the wrong thing. But according to all these articles written by random people I will never meet, saying nothing is really the wrong thing. AHHH so what do I do?!
Its funny because when I have complained to Jason about all of this, he said his newsfeed is nothing like mine. So maybe it's just the type of things I have clicked on in the past and now they're constant;y showing up on my newsfeed. Maybe mines more negative than other peoples? All I know is that for me... I am so happy to take a break for a while. I look forward to when I go back it'll just like when I first signed up and I'll get to see all sorts of engagements, marriages, babyies and everything that drew me to Facebook in the beginning!
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